


Hope in the Darkness

by PizzaNSunshine



Series: The Magic Within [4]
Category: Elena of Avalor (Cartoon)
Genre: Elenateo, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Survivors Guilt, dia de los muertos, matelena, matena, receive forgiveness, self-forgiveness, words of wisdom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PizzaNSunshine/pseuds/PizzaNSunshine
Summary: A one-shot companion to "The Magic Within" inspired by Episode 9: A Day to Remember. Takes place between Chapter 21 and Chapter 22 of "The Magic Within".Another Dia de los Muertos has come and gone, along with the joy, the celebration and the pain that goes along with remembering the loved ones who have passed away. Once the festivities have died down for the night, Elena finds herself in her secret garden, alone with her thoughts when a pair of unexpected visitors arrive to offer love and support to their grieving princess.





	Hope in the Darkness

It was a beautiful starry night, and I heard the soft breeze whispering through the trees in a secret song, understood only by those who knew how to listen. Peaceful, calm, a night full of possibilities. Moonlight filtered through the trees of my secret garden, bathing the world in its ethereal glow as I sat on the old swing of my childhood. I shivered as the cool breeze kissed my skin and whispered through the trees above me. The rustling of the leaves and the soft hooting of a nearby owl had a calming effect upon my soul. 

This was the one place on the palace grounds where I could be alone with my thoughts. Only one other soul knew this, but he was away for the evening. Though I found myself missing him dearly, I knew he had his own family to celebrate on this day, and I was glad that he had taken the time away from the palace to be with his mother, aunts and cousins.

It was the second evening of the Dia de los Muertos celebration, the night the spirits of our loved ones would be closest to the earth. I remembered last year's celebration clearly. It had come as quite a shock when I discovered that I could see spirits. When the time came to join my own family in our remembrance celebration of Mami and Papi’s lives, it came as an even bigger shock when their spirits had appeared behind the altar. They didn't speak, they just watched us with love and adoration in their eyes as we shared our memories and offered our gifts to them. I had the feeling that they were proud of us –– of me.

I felt such joy in knowing for certain that not only were they truly there, watching us, but also knowing that they were at peace. I have always believed that our loved ones never truly leave us if we keep their memories alive in our heart, but it's a kind of faith –– having confidence that our hopes are founded and believing in them though they are unseen. But there's something truly incredible about seeing that faith come to life.

Dia de los Muertos is my favorite day of the year. I have always loved the celebration of life –– both past and present. I know the name implies a more morbid theme, but truly it's the one day of the year that we set aside everything to celebrate the lives of our loved ones who have passed. Of course we should remember and honor our families, living or deceased, every day, but there's something magical about this festive celebration that makes this day special, and –– in a way –– brings those loved ones back to life, if only for an evening. 

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about mami and papi. It's been forty-two years since they died, and I thought of them every day that I was stuck inside that amulet –– I still think of them now. I'll admit that I often feel sad when I think of them because I struggle with feelings of failure. They died because I failed to protect them. I have recently been told by a wise young man –– who happens to love me, by the way –– that this simply isn't true, the guilt does not lie with me but in the evil witch who made the choice to murder a kind and benevolent king and queen –– a loving and beloved mother and father. My mami and papi. 

I believe him, I really do. But it's hard to heal from forty-two years of guilt overnight. I will get there eventually, especially now that I'm not alone and have a loved one to help me through the healing process. I know that my family could help and would want to, I certainly trust them. However, they suffered their own horrors that day and I want to avoid causing them to relive them if they're already in the process of healing.

I also feel that, as crown princess, I have to be careful about who I allow to see my weaknesses. Though I know that I am strong, confident and independent, I am far from perfect. As the crown princess, the strength and confidence is the part that the people of Avalor need to see. Even crown princesses need time to heal privately.

Truthfully, it all boils down to survivor’s guilt. I saw my parents die before my eyes and was helpless to save them, which in turn led to the suffering of my surviving family. Coming to terms with that is all part of the healing process, I suppose. 

If there's one thing my forty-one year nightmare inside the amulet taught me, it's that the happy memories are to be cherished. Family and friends are to be treasured. And all life is a gift. So, I made a personal decision to celebrate and honor the lives of my parents. I love them just as much now, as I did before they died, which is why I will continue to celebrate Dia de los Muertos with joy in my heart.

That night, the celebration went much the same as it had the previous year, only I was prepared for the hordes of ghosts I saw floating around the city. As I was getting ready, I felt excited butterflies in my stomach from the anticipation of seeing Mami and Papi again this year. Abuelo managed to avoid gobbling down all of the pan dulce and Isa joined us on the procession to the graveyard with several of her creations to place on the altar as gifts for our parents.

The closer we got to the graveyard, the more festive the city became until we were surrounded by candles, elaborate altars decorated with portraits of the deceased, mounds of thoughtful gifts, and cheerful bundles of Avaloran marigolds everywhere I looked –– cascading over every surface and out of every crevice with golden-orange blossoms. The sound of the mariachi bands playing near the graveyard made me want to dance and the occasional scent of fresh pan dulce wafting through the air sparked happy memories of mami baking with us as children.

The heart of the celebration was the family’s love for their relatives who had passed on. Most of the living wore brightly colored costumes of red, purple, blue –– every color imaginable. Some had even painted their faces to resemble a skull, I was always impressed with the detail they put into their face makeup.

The feeling in my heart as I approached mami and papi’s grave and saw them there –– waiting patiently for us ––  was difficult to describe. I was happy, joyful even, to see them and relive these happy memories, yet I felt overcome with emotion. I wanted to smile, laugh, and cry all at once. I was full of thanks for my grandparents, sister, cousin, and dear friends who were alive and well. I wanted to sing and dance in celebration of the lives of my parents, but also of the current lives of my friends and family. Though it was my favorite day of the year, the experience left me exhausted and emotionally drained –– which is what brought me to my secret garden later that evening.

I was supposed to have a guard with me at all times, but I really needed to be alone and out of the palace. There was only one guard I would have wanted with me, and he still hadn’t returned to the palace, so I used magic to sneak out of my room and silently made my way through the palace garden to my secret place. 

I had meant to visit my garden to calm myself, but the pressure of the lingering emotions from the celebration, the threat looming over the kingdom, and the slow breaking of my heart from the marriage agreement with someone who was most likely an enemy was stretching my nerves to a breaking point. It was as if I were walking a tightrope over a yawning abyss with nothing to catch me if I fell. 

As I sat, eyes downcast, and swung gently back and forth, I felt a shift in the breeze. Everything around me had just become silent when I noticed a faint glow on the grass in front of me. I looked up curiously and, gasping, I leapt to my feet in astonishment at what I saw.

“Mami? Papi?” I choked out, that flood of tears that had been threatening me all evening pouring down my cheeks.

My parents were standing just in front of me, floating a few inches off the ground as they glowed that otherworldly monotone blue like the other spirits I had seen. My face was full of wonder as I met their gaze, and I could see that their eyes were full of love and concern.

Mami stepped forward, or perhaps glide was a better word, and reached her hand up to lovingly caress my cheek, though I couldn’t feel it, as she smiled her gentle smile at me. I felt a warmth blossom in my heart as I remembered her voice and that smile as if it were a distant dream come to life. “Come,  _ mi cariña _ , sit with us as we haven’t much time,” she said as she gestured to the large stone bench behind me.

I did as she said. My heart ached from the desire to have my mother hug me, so I could cry forty-two years worth of tears into her shoulder, but I wasn't about to be picky. Of course I wanted to talk with them, I had thought so many times since my release from the amulet that I desperately needed their wisdom and their guidance. That night was a dream come true.

They sat on one end of the bench and I sat on the other, turned towards them as I sat criss-cross legged. I wanted to see them for every second that we were blessed with before they would have to return to the spirit world –– I was afraid to even blink.

I don’t know if spirits can cry, but both of them looked a little misty eyed. Papi spoke first, saying, “ _ Mi princessa _ , you must know how proud of you we are. We wanted you to know that we have been watching over you all of these years.”

I gaped at this sudden revelation. “You mean I– I wasn't truly alone in the amulet?”

Mami smiled and said gently, “Elena,  _ mi cariña _ , you of all people should understand that there is nowhere you can go that we can't follow.”

I sniffed a little, the tears threatening to flow again. “I know,” I said hoarsely, “but I always imagined that you were alive in my memories, which is wonderful. That's a whole different thing than knowing that YOU are truly with me –– mind, heart, and spirit. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

My father looked at me, sorrow edging his features. “We are so sorry that you had to suffer like that. We wish that we could have done something to have spared our kingdom from their suffering –– to have spared YOU from your suffering. But, not a day goes by where your mother and I are not thankful that you lived to make your mark on the world, that we left our kingdom in good hands. You have a fire burning in your soul –– an indomitable spirit. You are strong, passionate, and driven to do what's right. Never allow those qualities to be broken.”

My mother chimed in, “You have the most beautiful heart that's full of love, joy and compassion. These are the wonderful traits that we have always loved about you.”

“These are the most important qualities for Avalor’s future queen to possess.”

Mami quirked a ghostly pale eyebrow and said with smirk, “And tell my nephew to back off on all of the ‘suitable princess behavior’ talk or I may have to find a way to come back to haunt him.”

I had almost forgotten how feisty Mami could be and choked out a laugh, “Really? You don't think he's right?”

Papi rolled his eyes, “No, you are doing just fine. You know, in your heart, that you are treating your people with fairness and kindness. You are always looking to do what's right. That is infinitely more important than walking around in the right shoes or using the right fork.” He finished with a wink, I couldn't help but laugh some more, hardly daring to believe that they were watching so closely to notice such things. 

“But,” Mami said, more seriously this time, “while it's ok to have a little fun running around the castle with your sister, you, as a ruler, must learn to consider your options carefully and choose your battles wisely. I know that the love in your heart drives you to protect, but you must reign in that impulse of yours that leads you to protect those around you at the expense of your safety. Sometimes sacrifice is required, but most of the time it's not if you are wise and take the time to consider every angle.”

“You must learn to rely on your friends and your staff, you are their leader. It's your job to lead, but you can't do everything alone. Trust your people to help you, they will make you stronger,” Papi added.

I hung my head as I felt an irrational burning shame rising within me. I whispered, “I know. It's- it's just that I can't stand the thought of failing anyone ever again, like I failed you –– so long ago. I am terrified for my friends every time they face danger on my behalf. One,” I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, “was seriously injured a few weeks ago because of a decision I made.”

“Elena,” I looked up, startled, as my mother said sternly, “You have never once failed us. You need to remember what that wise young man told you as he was recovering all those weeks ago. Our deaths were not your fault. They were Shuriki’s fault and no one else’s. You must come to terms with this or it will destroy you. Please,” she said more gently, “ _ cariña _ , finish your grieving, allow yourself to heal, and move on. It's time to live your life now, to the fullest.”

I remembered how wise and gentle she was. I could always trust Mami’s advice. I already knew that it was, indeed, time to leave the past behind me. Learn from it, but not allow it to consume me. I could do this.

“And while we're on the subject of that wise young man,” my father interjected, “we see how you two look at each other, and we approve. You deserve a lifetime of happiness,  _ mi princesa _ .”

I blushed at that, thinking to myself,  _ Really Papi? Boy advice? Now? _

“Really? But what about the arranged marriage tradition? Or the fact that he's not a royal?”

“What about it?” Mami asked, “it's a tradition, not a law.”

_ That sounds familiar,  _ I thought wryly of Isa and Naomi saying almost the exact same thing.

Mami continued, “It worked for your father and I, but you are a different person, facing different circumstances. You need someone who you trust implicitly to stand with you as you rule. You need someone who complements you and makes you stronger. After everything you've been through, you need your best friend and true love by your side.”

Weeks ago, I would have been overjoyed at those words from the two people whose opinion mattered most to me. However, now– now there was a serious problem with accepting their advice in this.

Sighing, I said, “I'm afraid that I'm in a tough situation. I don't know if you knew this yet, but Malvara has come out of nowhere with offers of political alliances. I know for certain that they've been causing serious trouble in Avalor –– trouble that would nullify any potential alliance. There's been an attempt on my life, an attempt to steal the scepter, and a group of Malvarans had been harassing our people for months on the northern border. I don't have concrete evidence that their government is involved or I'd publicly renounce them and send them back to where they came from, I only have enough evidence to deal with these things on an individual level.” 

I had to steel myself for what came next, for I still nearly broke down crying every time I've had to think about it. “And, I've just returned from dealing with the harassment in the north to find that Malvara is insisting on deeper ties than friendship. They want blood ties by marriage. I've agreed to it in hopes that I can find out what Malvara really wants. Though, I swear my heart is breaking in two whenever I think about going through with it.” My voice cracked on the word “breaking”. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands.

They were both quiet for a moment, long enough that I looked up, suddenly afraid that they had left. They were both still sitting there, watching me with sorrow in their eyes.

My father said, “As the crown princess, you must do what you what you believe is right. But I will say that you should proceed with extreme caution. Malvara is an ancient civilization and has never tried to cultivate friendships with other kingdoms in living memory. There is something very wrong here and you must remain vigilant.”

“I will Papi.”

Mami said, “ _ Cariña _ , please be sure that this isn't a case of you sacrificing yourself for the greater good.”

I had to think about that for a moment, and realized that was exactly what I was doing. Though, I couldn't see any way around it. Had I refused, any chance at peace would be lost and could perhaps start a war with a nation of dark sorcerers. If we thought Shuriki was bad, I didn't want to imagine a legion of her kin attacking our kingdom.

My mother sighed and said, “Our time here is coming to an end, but remember that we love you and are so, so proud of you.”

Papi smiled sadly and said, “I wish there was something we could do to lighten this burden for you. Just remember to trust your friends, they are your greatest strength. I know that you will find a way to conquer this threat ––  between your abilities, determination and your gentle heart, you can make things right and find happiness and love. And remember that we will always be watching over you.”

A sliver of hope sparked within me at his words, and I thought I was going to cry again. I looked at them, my eyes shining with love, and whispered, “Thank you for coming to see me tonight. I have a lot to think about, it seems. I love you both so much. That hasn't faded in forty-two years.”

My heart clenched as my parents stood and slowly faded into the darkness.

“Goodbye  _ mi cariña _ , remember to live joyfully and you will do great things.”

“We love you so much,  _ mi princesa _ ,” Papi said.

And just like that, they faded into the night. I was left feeling a little numb. It was as if my heart had been removed and wrung out, only to be shoved back where it belonged, leaving me an exhausted mess. Truthfully, I think I was just overwhelmed with the riot of emotions that had coursed through me in such a short time. I was beyond thankful that my parents to had visited me. It was certainly the highlight of the celebration. However, we had spoken of some serious issues that I had already struggled to come to terms with. I knew that they wanted me to live my life to the fullest and to be at peace with the past, and that was liberating. I also knew that kind of peace would take time, the wounds of the past don't heal instantly.

I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in my skirts as I cried some more trying to process through everything my parents had told me. 

I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually I was startled out of my musings by a gentle, warm hand grasping my shoulder. Turning to look at the owner of that hand, I smiled a little as the feeling returned to my heart. Mateo’s was a soothing presence that, regardless of my mood, never failed to inspire warmth and joy in my soul. Love was funny that way. 

The special warm smile that he reserved just for me transformed into a frown of concern as he noticed the pain in my eyes and the tear stains on my cheeks. “What happened,  _ mi amor _ ?” he asked quietly.

I stood and launched myself into his arms. I could tell he was confused, but he went with it, knowing that I would tell him everything when I was ready. Mateo held me close, rubbing my back in comforting small circles as he sweetly kissed my hair. 

He was my steady rock, my safe haven in these uncertain times. I knew he would selflessly stand with me in the face of darkness and danger, to whatever end. The thought of what we had coming to an end when Malvara decided to call in my promise of a marriage agreement was terrifying. My heart broke a little each day as I knew that we were one day closer to that moment I would have to say goodbye to my dearest friend, my true love, my other half, my fiercest protector and most loyal defender –– the day when half of my soul would be torn from me. Until that day, we would stand together, he and I.

My parents had given me sage advice that evening, and my heart swelled knowing that they were proud of me, that they adored my quirks and wanted me to love and be loved in return. They had helped me understand that I truly bore no responsibility for their deaths, and their words were a salve that would help those hurts to heal in time. I had hope on that dark night, that somehow, someway, the wrongs which surrounded me on all sides would be made right. I had hope that we would overcome the threat that my enemies posed to my kingdom and nullify this arrangement with this nameless, faceless Malvaran prince I was to be promised to. I had hope that I would somehow find my happy ending with the amazing young man by my side. And sometimes, a little hope is all that we need.


End file.
